changing into a new person

08 September 2008 at11:53 PM


Heyhey there diary (:


Well , its midnight & i still can't get my ass on my bed & go to sleep . So i decided to update my bloggy . Unexpected things are coming to attacked me & it had happened , indeed . I just need to be both mentally & physically prepared for that . One thing is to be strong & another thing is to believe in both me & Allah .

Its kinda sad to hear but its the fact .

No one knows who I truly am,
no one seems to care.
when ever I need a shoulder to cry on,
no one's ever there.

No one knows of the pain I hold inside,
its much too deep.
never being able to express myself,
all I can do is weep.

No one knows what it feels like
to truly be me.
always hiding, and never free.

No one knows,
is that all I can ever say?
I'm tired of this and don't want
to keep living this way.

Maybe one day I'll have the strength
to let my true feelings show.
but until now I'll just keep saying,
"No one knows"

Am I Strong Enough To Pick Up The Broken Hearts ?


Inside my sleeve, I pull out my heart,
handing it to you, "careful it's fragile,
and easily falls apart."

Extending your arms, you take the heart in
your tender warm hands.
It falls into a million shattered pieces - on
the floor it lands.

You begin to bend down to pick it up, sorrow and
sadness in your eyes.

Apologies are not enough.

Looking at you with tears in my eyes,
I ask you not to pick up the pieces of a heart
that has fallen apart.

I am the one who needs to pick up the pieces of
my shattered heart - one by one, piece by piece.

I need to put it together again, some how. some way.

Each piece of my heart has a memory so true.
Each piece of my heart has part of you.

You are the one who is leaving to start a new lease on life.
I'll just be here on my knees picking up the pieces of a
heart that feels like it's being pierced with a knife.

All my tears won't keep you near
All my tears won't mend what's not here.

Again I look at you with a whisper in my voice,
The only way my heart will mend and finally be complete,
is if you and I can come together without being discreet.
You see, what we have here and today, helps me face the
world, with a love for you that gives a glow -
but now, my darling, you made a choice.

My heart is on this floor, shattered and broke.
With each piece I pick up -
I need to learn to let go.

Miss You .

Whenever you are gone
And were miles apart
I cant believe the longing
I feel in my heart

If im not there to see you
Your image stays clear in my mind
If im not there to hear you
In my head your voice i find

If youre not there beside me
Im not strong enough to speak
But then again, when you ARE there
My whole body feels weak

When you are so far away
It doesnt feel the same
I feel the chills crawl down my spine
Every time i hear your name

People think im crazy
And not acting like me
But the picture of you inside my head
Is something they cant see

Tears drop when im laughing
Smiles appear when i cry
I dont know how to explain it
The truth is, i dont know why

I dont know why i cannot speak
I dont know why i feel a tear
I dont know why im lost in thought
...Maybe its cuz youre not here

Im not sure why i cant sleep
And im not sure what to do
But i think i know the reasons for this
I believe that i miss you...

People May Think ..

People may think " am i crazy " ?
Why bother tell all this here ?
I should be telling the person ,
but not here .

No one's gonna hear me down here ,
He's also not gonna bother reading this .
Why do i care so much for him ?
Why i still bother waiting for him ?

Friends have been saying ,
to move on & forget the past .
I've tried , honestly .
But i failed .

Its not easy falling in love afterall .
& its not easy forgetting the one that you loved .
Maybe this is how Life is .
Something for us to experience .

I have no doubts to it .
Im being strong as a human ,
stronger than i used to .
So , no one can critisize me .

Believing in myself &
saying " i can do it " ,
is the password for living .

Everyday I learn something new ,
& i appreciate that .
I may sound & look happy in the outside appearance ,
but deep in me , no one knows .

Apparently , only God knows .
He knows everything that is going on with my daily life .
Im proud of being His creation .
Thank you .


--




I've been saying quite a lot in my recents post . Sorry if its kinda long for you readers to read . Well , honestly , i've forgive & forget . Deep inside me , i've acctually forgiven all the bad things that my friends had done to me . Like for Azwan . I've forgiven him actually . I just dun like to keep angers & revenge feels in me . Hate that . So friends , you're forgiven for all your mistakes . Every humans make mistakes . So do you & i . We are always given a chance to changed & be a real person . & things have been unequal between me & someone else . I guess i have to balance it all . I'll try . So , thats it . Im gonna stop here for now . Its too long already . I'll be updating soon people . Tc . Cherios .

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